new chapter

feelin reflective this morning. still in my pjs, in my bed and thinking about the place i am in right now. things in your life can change so drastically without any kind of notice. good things, bad things, exciting things, tragic things...it can all just occur and you have to deal with it. and, your character is tested with that situation by the way you handle it. often it is so tempting to "press the easy button" and deal with the immediate instead of the underlying. so easy to push things under the carpet. so easy to withdraw. so easy to mask your pain by distracting yourself with other things. at one time or another, we have all taken the "easy" way out...but stopping to face the issue and look at yourself takes a lot of energy and honesty. for the most part, i have been proud of the way i have handled myself this last year and a half. there have been moments in which i have been "human" and let my emotional state guide my behavior instead of thinking about what was best. but, i find comfort in knowing that i have remained true to myself and my values about what is important in life and how i want to live mine out. my integrity is very important to me. at the end of the day when you strip away possessions and accomplishments, it's really all you have. that, and the love you feel for those close to you. don't get me wrong...there are many temptations in life that could knock you off maintaining your integrity at the level you'd like and we are all human to give into those temptations...i know i'm not perfect, nobody is...but it won't stop me from striving to be the best version of me i can be.